Kaia Kordic is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who splits her time between building her own private practice here in Humboldt County, California and working with the county foster care services. Kaia works with families, children, teenagers and adults who have ADHD, depression, anxiety, and who are going through relationship conflict, break-ups and divorces. She sat down with us to share some common misconceptions about therapy and offer advice to those who may be considering therapy.
Therapy is not a sign of weakness
While many believe that therapy is a sign of weakness, Kaia couldn’t disagree with that assessment more. Therapy is not about something being wrong with you, it’s about courage and personal development.
“All of my patients seek personal growth. They recognized that something in their lives is not going the way they want it to, and chose to do the work to change that. That’s powerful,” says Kaia.
While some may prefer to do it on their own or fail to understand why a loved one would seek the help of a stranger, those who choose therapy are simply utilizing all the best tools available to them. “Therapy IS ‘doing it on your own.’ If you’re cooking a meal for yourself, you’re doing it on your own, but first, you need to get the right ingredients together, figure out the process. Therapy is somewhat similar, but with higher stakes. Clients decide that they need to work on something, so they want the right resources to help them figure out the process,” says Kaia.
Finding A Therapist
Kaia has some advice, “Find somebody who is a good fit and trust the process. It takes a lot to make that first call and even more to make that first appointment, and it’s rarely a good fit on the first call. So, people get discouraged. They give up and miss out on a very important resource. You should keep looking for the right fit. It is worth the effort.”
Once you make a choice and schedule the first appointment, Kaia recommends giving the process a chance to work. “Unless you have a bad feeling, give it three sessions. You may feel unsure at first because you and your therapist are just getting to know each other. If it’s not right after that, continue your search.”
You can try finding a therapist through Psychology Today, your insurance, Yelp, and friends. Kaia says you can even ask your therapist. “You can say, ‘Hey I realize and I appreciate our work together, but I feel like I would fit better with a male or someone of the same ethnicity. Do you have any recommendations for that?’